911 Iguana Rescuers

Just go away and leave me alone. I did not ask to be photographed or much less to be saved. I only got myself trapped in here because I wanted to put an end to my miserable existence after my beloved female died in the same fashion, but I did not succeed. I’m a big loser.

I made so much noise after getting stuck, that the human lady who lives in the house right across this fence had to come out and sort out a way of saving my life. First she took a photo of me with her cell phone and then called her sister to boast about my misery. How humiliating!

Then, she left me on my own, and I thought I was finally going to join my female in iguana heaven, but no. I saw this human lady coming my way and now she was carrying a ladder. She neatly placed it over the fence. Then she left again and came back quickly with another lady. They both looked at me while probably deciding which was the best way to cut me in two, and get rid of my remains by throwing them to the river nearby, but I was wrong again. I saw how the first lady climbed up the ladder and jumped the fence. She put something soft around my hind legs and my long tail, and started pulling me back.

Then, the other lady rubbed my head with her fingertips while saying all sorts of nice things I did not want to hear. And, without asking me, she just stretched my forearms forward so they could slide back, along with the rest of my body, through the hole I had deliberately stuck myself in.

I was gently put on the ground and as soon as I felt I was free I gave both ladies a dirty look, waved my throat flap at them and ran away. I think I heard them celebrating, although there was nothing worth cheering about. Now I know it’s no use trying to commit suicide again, because there will be slats on that fence next time.

Hmm, or maybe it’s not my time and I will meet a nice lady iguana very soon…